TELEPHONE HELPLINE  

The telephone helpline is a major part of our support service. Our experience is that when a lesbian daughter or gay son first says: "Mum I'm gay,. the usual reaction is one of shock and a flood of tears. Up to that time, the parents haven't really given sexuality much thought. Yes, we are ignorant, but perfectly normal, in experiencing these feelings on receiving news that is so unexpected.

If society was better educated on such issues, we feel parents would be more understanding and feel less inadequate. Gay children have lived for years with their own sexuality, and understand why their parents have this sense of shock, and also a sense of loss. Parents feel that their child is different now that they have come out. Of course they are different, they can now be themselves. We try to explain this to parents who ring the very first time for support, it takes time to adjust. Like Chris the loving father, who, when told his son was gay, picked up the telephone, and said "I just want to be able to understand. I stilllove him, but can you tell me..........:

Another call was from Susan and Paul. They lived outside of the City and their son was at University in another city, and didnt come home very often. They had known for a year about their son's sexuality but they couldn't accept it. and for a whole year had been on medication. After all this time she rang for support, and we talked and talked, then she asked if we would meet them. We did meet. We had a drink and then took them along to a gay pub. They met up with all our gay friends, and all the fears and prejudices disappeared. They could see for themselves that sexuality is not hetero-or homo. It's people that count.

After talking quite openly with our Gay friends, this very nice couple went home a lot happier than when they left home earlier that evening. She rang back the following day, and thanked us for our support .

We asked them to attend our monthly support meetings, but they haven't been back. We feel that they got all the support they needed.

Some parents are frightened to attend our meetings in case they might meet someone they know. We are a very caring and friendly group, and are very strict on confidentiality. We are all here for the same reason, and that is one of support.

Then the elderly couple who rang and said the father was afraid to go to work in case someone found out, and the mother couldn't understand at aI/, but again they wouldn't come along to our group. These are just a few of the calls that we get, but they are all in the same vein.